The Uncut Block

I've always considered myself to be a pretty lucky guy, but lately my luck has been running short. It's come as a shock really. I am still "blessed", meaning I'm not living in a gutter or anything like that, but it just seems as though no matter how hard I try, all my plans keep falling apart. Massive roadblocks keep popping up that bar any progress towards where I feel I should be in my life.

I'm also a very stubborn person. When I get an idea of what I want in my mind, I will stop at nothing to get it. This stubborn attitude has been what is getting in the way of my luck. Allow me to explain...

I am a heavy believer in the power of the "universe", the way all human minds are connected by electronic impulses, the multiple layers of reality we live in. When I talk about my personal spirituality, it derives very heavily from this aspect. As my journey into the world of religion and spirituality went deeper into the rabbit hole, I noticed there were patterns that all of the philosophies shared: Prayer.

Every religion has it's version of prayer, be it meditation, guided astral projection, mindfulness, candle lit ritual, ceremony...they all serve the same purpose, as a means to channel your thoughts into one big powerful bubble of intent. Now be it a god you are praying to, or just affirming inwardly to yourself, what is really happening is you are manifesting intent.

Now it is a scientific belief that there are an infinite number of realities all existing simultaneously. Every time you drive to the end of the street and turn right, there is a reality that exists for if you turned left. Even more subtle changes like chewing something one extra time, all of these small changes spiderweb out and create an entirely different future, the "Butterfly Effect" as it is so commercially put.

Now, a further belief into this train of logic is that every thing on the earth has pulses of electricity circulating through it, and that as humans, our brains are actually all linked together through this electric force, and allow our subconscious minds to communicate with each other without us even knowing it. There are these constant checks being sent back and forth that make sure that we all agree that gravity still works as intended, that the car we are looking at is the color red and so forth.

So without going to far into turning this into an explanation of my belief system, the short/long of it is that in what I believe, prayer in whatever form you use it is manifesting intent, then sending that intent out into the world around you. Other people pick up on this intent and can adapt to it, and help spread it, and your intent can become a reality. We have heard stories of people having miraculous recoveries from illness from what they claim was solely driven by prayer. Sure that's some heavy stuff, but it's the general principle of Karma, which most people at least give a little credence to. Put good into the world, and good will find you.

Going back now to me and what I am going through.

I have gotten my head so deeply stuck into the hole of one single notion, that I have completely blocked out any other option for where things are going in my life to be acceptable. The problem I am running into is that it seems like the universe over and over is keeping me from getting to that place I want to be, but I really just need to take a step back and realize that my luck hasn't run out. My luck has actually been working so strongly in my favor to try to save me from what I am really starting to see as a terrible idea, and is helping push me into a place where things will truly have a chance to work out wonderfully.

I write this more as a reminder to myself than as something I expect to inspire. They always told me in school that the simple act of taking notes, writing information down, solidifies it in your mind. The lesson today is regardless of how wise I may think myself to be, I can be real fucking stupid sometimes.

It's difficult to see the good in a bad situation though. My last post was about the journey I have been taking to get rid of the hate in my life, and I am still finding these little pockets of hate hidden away inside me. I can feel my insides saying "but I want to be mad" when something happens that I don't like. I want to be let down, I want to be sad, because it's easier.

Taoism was the first spiritual path I followed after getting away from the Catholic church, and one of it's key teachings is resounding in my head as I write this. Mostly because the universe sent me a little message yesterday that I didn't even realize was a message until right now.

The teaching is to admire the uncut block. It is such a simple way to sum up a much bigger idea that one would first give it credit for. The essence of this core principal is to be able to appreciate the raw potential that an uncut block of stone has. Imagine being in a museum and walking down a row of sculptures. You may be looking at the visage of a human, or an animal, or maybe just some strange shapes, but at the end of the row is an uncut block of marble. Now all of these sculptures have been created by Master artisans, the work is perfection, undamaged by time. You could stand and look at this row of sculptures in all of their beauty and wonder how the hell I am going to convince you that the uncut stone is more beautiful than any of the rest.

The reason is because each of the other sculptures is exactly what it is, and that is all it is ever going to be, where as the uncut block has the potential to be any of the sculptures that are sitting next to it. Now this teaching isn't saying that as people we should do nothing and just sit holding our potential inside, but instead is trying to show us the value that potential has. Just because something looks like an unappealing hunk of stone now doesn't mean it can't become something truly great.

In life, even a shitty, shitty situation still holds potential to be something great. For me directly, it has forced me to look at other options, and realize the potential that is held in them. I just have to keep reminding myself that these roadblocks I am running into are not the representations of a cruel universe seeking revenge on me, but are gifts that I am ignoring. My own stubbornness convincing me that I should just be pissed off that they popped up instead of trying to find a reason why they could end up helping me. Honestly, I don't even need to find the reason, I don't need to validate them. I just need to trust that everything will work out for the best. The night is darkest before dawn they say. This is my darkness, and I know dawn is approaching. Hopefully all this time I have put into myself will pay off when it does.